[https://sashachapin.substack.com/p/the-spirit-does-whatever-it-wants]

You’re not the only one who knows about this. A lot of people access it in prayer, for example. And most people are comfortable with brief glimpses of this thing, knowing it’s there, communing with it occasionally. But you really crave it. You want more! So you become an effective seeker of this thing. You learn how to access it in more situations—when you’re driving, when you’re cooking. More and more, you can do this neat mental gesture, where you surrender what feels like a ‘small’ self into a ‘big’ self.

And then, one day, you realize: oh, there’s no secret technique. There’s no secret anything. The question itself is what’s stopping me from fully embracing reality. I’m not seeing what’s already there, precisely because I’m searching for it. The last distortion I’m placing between myself and the Spirit is the urge to see it. The search is the final problem, that little nagging mental process that says, ‘not here, not this, surely not this.’